'Madness' Files 18: Isle o' Hags 2 Annoyance upon annoyance had piled on top of Scarnfix’s temper. First that business with the indian girl, then the ordeal with the idiotic polar bear lazing about and watching that weird hissing box, and after that the climb through the narrow slit of canyon…
The Privateer perhaps enjoyed the stress relief from slaughtering the big-footed yetis at the top of the snowy upper level a bit too much, but for once on this trip he couldn’t complain. Sitting on the lip of a short cliff, a candy-cane-stripe field of snowy carnage behind him, he licked the still-warm blood from his cutlasses like a Popsicle. “‘Dere ain’t no exit on ‘dis side…” he mused between tastes, “so per’aps ‘de o’der side ‘as one.”
Feeling the cold begin to nip at his backside, he leapt down to the snow beneath his hanging feet. Across the
'Madness' Files 17: Arendelle 1 Dropping what amounted to a spacecraft into the center of an uncharted medieval-class world would violate one of Machelix’s own resolute policies. As such, when Captain led him within range of Arendelle, Machelix took over and maneuvered his craft into the woods away from any of the world’s residents. Even without the current situation encompassing nearly all the known (and potentially unknown) worlds, caution took precedence to prevent calamity.
Two boots dropped to the needle-covered forest floor. Stillness surrounded the Nobodies, but the lack of compression in the pine needles signaled to Machelix that something had recently been here. But what it had been Machelix couldn’t exactly tell: something big and plodding like a Heartless lord, or something slug-like like a roving glacier? The shining sun above and the lack of snow on the ground made the second option less likely, even if
'Madness' Files 16: The World that Never Was 3 “Hmm, should I go out and investigate one of these artifacts as well…?” Machelix looked over the decorated map of the known worlds, a new string threaded between The Two Cities and the Isle o’ Hags. Several toothpick flags pierced a handful of them, including both of these worlds, each marked with the name of the Nobody investigating that particular world. An additional flag decorated with his own name he held in his open palm. A finger from his other hand traced a trail through the maze of strings towards (hopefully) an exit, or an entrance to begin his own series. “Lylat System… Titan Tearaways… Game Central Station…”
The opening doors behind him interrupted his concentration. “Ah, Shakespeare, have you come to deliver Fexyregof’s report?” Noticing the journal in the Scribe’s hands he added as a second guess, “Or
'Madness' Files 15: Isle o' Hags 1 Navigating a spot to drop anchor proved an initial challenge for Scarnfix. Despite the Isle o’ Hags being, well, an island, hills and mountains surrounded the majority of the landscape. Only the icy waters surging from the snow-covered half of an offshore islet could serve as any hospitable harbor.
“Arright, now where ‘de Jolly Roger do I find ‘dis Cheato book ‘ting?” He leaped from the upper deck of his ship to the lower and ran to the prow. Two icy beaches lay before him, a wall of rock separating the two and another partially hiding the one on his right. Smoke rose from behind this second wall: someone to interrogate.
The Privateer summoned one of his cutlasses and threw it like a boomerang. The sword flashed at its farthest distance and returned as his personal scouting craft. Gripping the pegs of the flywheel and stepping onto
'Madness' Files 14: La Ratatouille 1 “Pour me ano’der drink, love. Me glass be empty.”
“Madame, uh, this is the fourth refill you’ve had already.”
Rynexethak looked up from her seat into the nervous red-headed waiter’s eyes in a condescending glance. “And not e’ery girl chums ‘de waters after a glass or two. I ain’t stutterin’, so bring me ano’der round!”
“Err, right away, ma’am.” A bit of a work-up the waiter needed to pick up momentum on his skates to continue on his working route.
The figure beside Rynexethak at the table lowered his menu and rolled his colorless eyes beneath a fish-shaped maroon metal helm. ‘Ye don’t ‘ave to be so ‘ard on ‘de boy,’ he “said” to the Double Dealing Wench.
'Madness' Files 13: Afterlife High 1 Sunlight shone down over the sparsely crowded streets, the same street Fexyregof watched when looking up from his journal. Often this occurrence was not, given the way his pen furiously crossed across the page. “He could have sent me to the Pagemaster’s Library to locate the missing book,” read his emotionally devoid, pristinely sculpted letters. “My moniker is the Disgruntled Scholar, for the love of Emily; I should have been given a mission that poses less of an insult to my heritage. Capture a scythe indeed… I’m beginning to believe he only thinks of me as an undead.”
Releasing a hard sigh, the Entourage’s number four closed his journal and entrusted it to his Lesser standing next to him. “Shakespeare, see to it that my tome returns to my dresser, please. I doubt that your services will be necessary in the near future.”
'Madness' Files 12: Future Enforcement 1 “This is great!” exclaimed Sluxio. Even though Machelix hadn’t sent him on a mission for quite some time, he really outdid himself by sending his number five to the Time Squad station orbiting the world of Future Enforcement. So much technology for him to study, especially the mechanics of how a space base of this complex, slapstick design could remain hovering around the world.
Only one matter complicated his experience.
“I said freeze!” shouted the scruffy space cop chasing him. His pistol fired off yet another laser blast that soiled another of the space craft’s walls instead of hitting Sluxio.
The robot chasing the officer had other problems on his mind than the “intruder”. “Tuddrussel, be more careful with those things! You could shoot a hole in the ship!”
'Madness' Files 11: Hyrule (Era of Twilight) 1 Retrieve the fire flower from Hyrule… “Why did Machelix give me this mission? This task should have been given to Vredarigox,” Kespix groaned. “I am the Bitter Battler, a gladiator of the Coliseum, not Demeter who brings the flowers of spring.”
He stood in the great expanse of Hyrule field beneath a reddening sun, looking out towards Hyrule Castle in the distance. His stern brown eyes shifted to the parchment paper in his hand, inscribed on one side with letters he didn’t recognize. Machelix had included the legible translation on the other. The crude paper bore a news article originally distributed in this world: the fire flower, the exact same he had been sent here to claim, had been “discovered” in the woods to the south; the Princess of Hyrule, Zelda, outlined in the article an interest and desire for the flower. Her “bounty